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What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Last Updated: 21.06.2025 19:00

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

TEXT:

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Do people really never face any hidden costs or surprises with surgeries in countries with single-payer healthcare like the NHS?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What are the most popular recruiting tools in the US?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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At least until the peyote kicks in ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

What was the hottest inappropriate sex you ever had?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority